Apollo's Daughter

[Apolloette]

Prologue
--Earth--
The woman's doorbell rang. She glanced up from the novel she was reading. She wondered who could be at her door at 9:00 at night. She stood up and looked out her window. There was no one at her door. She yawned and went back to her chair, opened the book to the page she was on, and began reading again. She had barely read a paragraph when her doorbell rang again. She yanked open the door, only to find that, for the second time that night, no one was there. She happened to glance down as she turned to lock her door. The woman stopped. On her doorstep was a basket. She picked it up, wondering what it could be. A tiny hand waved from within. It was a baby girl! She was fast asleep. The woman brought the basket inside her house and laid the baby on her bed. She realized that the small girl was tightly clutching something in her miniature fist. It was a piece of paper. The woman unrolled it. It said, in bold, semi-neat handwriting:
Elizabeth
☼ ☼ ☼
_______________________________

This is my first story here on W101 Central-- what do you guys think?
I will post Chapter 1 soon.

[maggiesue3]

i like it. it sounds cool.

[Apolloette]

Chapter 1
--Earth: 11 years later--
I nocked the long, slender arrow on the bow, adjusted my position, concentrated on the pockmarked target, full of holes from other archers' arrows, pulled my bowstring back with all the strength I could muster, and let the arrow fly. My bowstring made a "Twang!" noise as the arrow went whizzing through the air. Although probably only a moment had really passed, it seemed to take an eternity for the arrow to hit the target, but when it did, it was in the dead center.
"Bullseye!"I cried enthusiastically. All my classmates began cheering and applauding.
I was with my class on a school field trip to an archery range at a summer camp. I had never shot a bow and arrow before in my life, yet I had gotten three bullseyes. In a row. No one else had even hit the target yet.
"Great job, Elizabeth!" my best friend Jordan UnicornPants called out. Everyone thought her last name was made up, out of her imagination, everyone but me. UnicornPants really was her last name, silly as it might have been.
"Thanks, Jordan." I wiped some sweat off of my forehead. Summer here in the good ol' U.S.A. was sometimes unbearably hot.
"How do you do it?" Jordan continued.
"Do what?"
"Shoot like that! I hit a tree instead of the target..." she brushed a strand of her shoulder length, bright purple hair out of her deep green eyes. Yes, purple. Purple was her favorite color, and mine too. Jordan was the only person I knew who had actually been born with purple hair. Mine was originally red, my least favorite color, but I dyed it purple, just to match.
"I don't know," I replied, after a pause. "I've never even shot a bow and arrow before." I loaded my bow with a bright green arrow and shot again. I was competing with my class in a contest to see who was best at archery. Whoever won would win a prize that I desperately wanted... My own personal bow and arrow, plus a mini target. I wanted to be... Needed to be... Was... The best archer here, and I was determined to prove it.
☼ ☼ ☼
_____________________

I'll post the rest soon. Is it good so far?

[Elemental]

I think it has great potential.

Note: Don't over use a word like "She" or "I". Mix it up a little. Other then that, i think i'll keep reading it.

[RomanAIV]

It's a very good story! Keep writing.

[Apolloette]

Chapter 1
--11 years later--

I nocked the long, slender arrow on the bow, adjusted my position, concentrated on the pockmarked target, full of holes from other archers' arrows, pulled my bowstring back with all the strength I could muster, and let the arrow fly. My bowstring made a "Twang!" noise as the arrow went whizzing through the air. Although probably only a moment had really passed, it seemed to take an eternity for the arrow to hit the target, but when it did, it was in the dead center.
"Bullseye!"I cried enthusiastically. All my classmates began cheering and applauding.
I was with my class on a school field trip to an archery range at a summer camp. I had never shot a bow and arrow before in my life, yet I had gotten three bullseyes. In a row. No one else had even hit the target yet.
"Great job, Elizabeth!" my best friend Jordan UnicornPants called out. Everyone thought her last name was made up, out of her imagination, everyone but me. UnicornPants really was her last name, silly as it might have been.
"Thanks, Jordan." I wiped some sweat off of my forehead. Summer here in the good ol' U.S.A. was sometimes unbearably hot.
"How do you do it?" Jordan continued.
"Do what?"
"Shoot like that! I hit a tree instead of the target..." she brushed a strand of her shoulder length, bright purple hair out of her deep green eyes. Yes, purple. Purple was her favorite color, and mine too. Jordan was the only person I knew who had actually been born with purple hair. Mine was originally red, my least favorite color, but I dyed it purple, just to match.
"I don't know," I replied, after a pause. "I've never even shot a bow and arrow before." I loaded my bow with a bright green arrow and shot again. I was competing with my class in a contest to see who was best at archery. Whoever won would win a prize that I desperately wanted... My own personal bow and arrow, plus a mini target. I wanted to be... Needed to be... Was... The best archer here, and I was determined to prove it.

☼ ☼ ☼

I walked home with my new bow and arrow in hand. My target was in my backpack. I had won the contest. Fourteen bullseyes in a row. Sometimes Jordan walked home with me, but today, I simply couldn't find her. It seems almost like Jordan is suddenly teleported away to another world sometimes, like today. I just can't seem to find her anywhere.
I passed familiar landmarks on the way to the small house where I lived with my guardian, Emily Greene. I was an orphan, and had never known my real parents. I had been found in a basket on Emily's doorstep, clutching a piece of paper with my first name, Elizabeth, on it. There was no last name on the paper, so I made one up. IceBlossom. Elizabeth IceBlossom. I love the sound of that. To me it sounds mystical and beautiful, like music to my ears.
Besides the scrap of paper, the only thing I had been found with was a simple gold bracelet. It has a sun charm on it, but nothing else. That bracelet is my most prized possesion: The only proof there is of my other parents, whoever they were.
I arrived at my and Emily's house. At first glance, it appeared to be empty, but I knew better.
"Emily!" I called up the stairs. Emily loved to read, and so did I. If I knew my guardian at all, she was up the stairs in her, and my, favorite reading chair. A few moments later, she came hurrying down the stairs, her long, dark brown hair swishing behind her.
"Hi, Elizabeth. How was your field trip?"
I launched into a detailed explanation about how I'd won the contest, how I'd gotten 14 bullseyes,and how Jordan had hit the same tree twice with her arrows, ending by pulling out my bow and arrow with a flourish.
"How marvelous! Why don't you go and practice? I made you some cookies." said Emily in her relaxing, cheerful voice.
"Yay!" I exclaimed happily. If you've never tasted Emily's cookies, you don't know what you're missing.
I took the platter of chocolate-chip cookies outside and set them on a table, then set up the target on the fence that enclosed our backyard. I bit into a cookie, both crumbly and sweet, aimed my bow, and Twang! Perfect bullseye! Emily, who was watching through the clear glass patio door, clapped vigorously.
I was still wondering about the whole archery thing-- How was I better than someone who had been shooting arrows for years without even ever shooting once before?-- But decided that I didn't really mind. I ate another cookie and continued shooting. Emily popped her head out the door and told me,
"I'm going to go read, okay, Elizabeth?" I nodded and ate a third cookie. I aimed and let another arrow go zipping through the air. I continued shooting for several more minutes, until I saw a bird. I know what you're thinking: It's just a bird, big deal. But this one was different. It was the most majestic bird I'd ever seen: It was a brilliant shade of ruby red, with golden plumage that really looked like it was on fire. The bird swooped closer and I saw that it was as large as I was.
"You're beautiful!" I said to the bird. It sqwaked, as if it knew just what I had said and was thanking me. Then the strangest thing ever happened: The bird landed in my yard and said,
"I am your ride to Ravenwood."
☼ ☼ ☼
________________________________
Please comment!

[Jen-jen]

Love it, Apolloette! Can't wait to read more!

[Apolloette]

Love it, Apolloette! Can't wait to read more!

I read the rest of yours, too, and it is really good

[Jen-jen]

I read the rest of yours, too, and it is really good

Aww thanks. When are you gonna post more? I CANT WAIT!

[FireBringer]

Not bad, but it does need some work. Do you happen to type it on a Word Processor first? If not, do so. It helps incredibly so.