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    1. #21
      Cheri55's Avatar
      Cheri55 is offline Novice Wizard

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      Re: Thoughts on "Losing someone ... "

      I will share something I have learned over the last 8 yrs. that I have found very helpful. It was in an article that I had found, and I tried to find the location of it, but here is what I have been living by:
      Grandma’s lessons for coping with death
      1. Accept that death is part of life and as such is nothing to fear.
      2. Death is random. We really have little control over who or when. Accept that too.
      3. Love and sharing don’t stop with death.
      4. You only really lose somebody if you stop remembering them.
      5. Every new grief is an opportunity to remember all those who have gone before.
      6. Talk about those you’ve lost with people who care. It’s good to share your feelings.

      7. Make room for the sadness. Then remember the joy.
      8. Take care of your body, and it will take care of you.
      9. Be patient with yourself. Grief takes as long as it takes.
      By MARIE HARTWELL-WALKER, ED.D.

      I hope this helps

    2. #22
      MzDreamfire's Avatar
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      Re: Thoughts on "Losing someone ... "

      Quote Originally Posted by AluraMist View Post

      With all that is going on, I did not know that. My heart aches for you. A lifetime together is never enough. Please know that your friends love you and are here for you.I am sending an Angel to comfort you too. Love and hugs.

      Thank you so much for the Angel.
      I've known Tom since I was 16 so it truly almost was a lifetime. =)

      Quote Originally Posted by Bailey Jade View Post
      Sending "BIG HUGZZZ"
      Thank you Bailey

      Life is short, make every minute count with your loved ones.
      Trials are like fire ~ they can destroy or strengthen you,
      depending on your character and choices in life.
      Remember ~the same fire that melts butter, strengthens steel.

    3. #23
      AluraMist's Avatar
      AluraMist is offline Wiki Master

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      Re: Thoughts on "Losing someone ... "

      Hi. This is your late loved one speaking. I don’t have long, so listen up because I have a lot I want to tell you.

      First off, I get it.

      Ever since I left this world you have missed me, and I know you’re bracing for the holidays without me. No matter what anyone says, this year’s festivities are going to be really tough.

      In fact, let’s be honest, this festive season will probably stink like pondwater. But then, Thanksgiving and Christmas are tough holidays for a lot of people. You’re not alone.

      See, the misconception about the holidays is that they are one big party. That’s what every song on the radio claims. Each television commercial you see shows happy families clad in gaudy Old Navy sweaters, carving up poultry, smiling their perfect Hollywood teeth at the camera. But that’s not exactly reality.

      In reality, fifty-eight percent of Americans admit to feeling severely depressed and anxious during November and December. In reality many folks will cry throughout the “most wonderful time of the year”.

      Well, guess what? Nobody is crying up here in heaven. This place is unreal. There is, literally, too much beauty to take in. Way too much.

      For starters—get this—time doesn’t even exist anymore. Which I’m still getting used to.

      Right now, for all I know, the calendar year down on Earth could be 1728, 4045, 1991, or 12 BC. It really wouldn’t matter up here. This is a realm where there is no ticking clock, no schedule. Up here there is only this present moment. This. Here. Now. That’s all there has ever been. And there is real comfort in this.

      I know this all seems hard to grasp, but if you were here you’d get it.

      Also, for the first time I’m pain free. I feel like a teenager again in my body. You probably don’t realize how long I’ve lived with pain because I never talked about it, I kept my problems to myself because I was your loved one, and you needed me to be brave.

      But pain is a devious thing. It creeps up on even the strongest person, little by little, bit by bit. Until pretty soon, pain becomes a central feature of life.

      Sometimes my pain would get so bad it was all I thought about. No, I’m not saying that my life was miserable—far from it. I loved being on earth. It’s just that simply waking up each morning was getting exhausting.

      But, you know what? Not anymore. In this new place, I am wholly and thoroughly happy.

      But enough about me. I don’t have room to describe all the terrific things I’m experiencing, and you don’t need to hear them. Right now, you’re grieving, and what you need is a hug.

      Which is why I’m writing to you. This is my hug to you. Because you’ve lost sight of me. And in fact, you’ve lost sight of several important things lately.

      Death has a way of blinding us. It reorganizes the way you think, it changes you. You will never be the same after you lose someone. It messes with your inner physiology. It reorganizes you’re neurons.

      But then, there’s one teensy little thing you’re forgetting:

      I’m still around.

      Yes, you read that correctly, I’m right here with you. No, you can’t see me. No, you can’t reach out and hold me. But did you know that one of the things I’m allowed to do as a heavenly being is hang out with you?

      It’s true. I’m never far away. I’m in the room with you now, along with a big cloud of ancestors, saints, and witnesses. I’m shooting the breeze alongside you, watching you live your life, watching you raise your kids, watching your private moments of sorrow.

      Here, in this new realm, I am in the perfect position to help you learn things. Which is what I vow to spend the rest of your earthly life doing, teaching you little lessons, lending you a hand when you least expect it, and desperately trying to make you smile. Actually, I’ve already been doing this stuff, you just don’t realize it.

      What, you don’t believe me?

      Well, wake up, pal. You know that tingle you get in your spine whenever you think of me? That’s me.

      You know how, just yesterday, you had a beautiful memory when you were driving and it made you cry so hard that it actually felt good and you began to laugh through tears? Also me.

      You know how sometimes when you’re all alone, preoccupied with something else, suddenly you get this faint feeling that someone is standing in the room with you? Hello? Me.

      You’re not alone on this earth. You never were. You never will be. So during this holiday season, when cheerful families are getting together and making merry, and taking shots of eggnog, I’m going to be clinging to your shoulder, helping you muddle through somehow.

      I’ll be making your spinal column tingle a lot, and I’ll be sending plenty of signs. Each of these signs—every single one—is code for “I love you.” So start paying attention to these hints.

      Because this was one.
      Attached Images Attached Images  
      Dare to catch your best dreams and live them with eyes wide open. Sweet dreams always.
      The DreamCatcher.

    4. #24
      Arwen Mythweaver's Avatar
      Arwen Mythweaver is offline Magus Wizard

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      Re: Thoughts on "Losing someone ... "

      Quote Originally Posted by AluraMist View Post
      Hi. This is your late loved one speaking. I don’t have long, so listen up because I have a lot I want to tell you.

      First off, I get it.

      Ever since I left this world you have missed me, and I know you’re bracing for the holidays without me. No matter what anyone says, this year’s festivities are going to be really tough.

      In fact, let’s be honest, this festive season will probably stink like pondwater. But then, Thanksgiving and Christmas are tough holidays for a lot of people. You’re not alone.

      See, the misconception about the holidays is that they are one big party. That’s what every song on the radio claims. Each television commercial you see shows happy families clad in gaudy Old Navy sweaters, carving up poultry, smiling their perfect Hollywood teeth at the camera. But that’s not exactly reality.

      In reality, fifty-eight percent of Americans admit to feeling severely depressed and anxious during November and December. In reality many folks will cry throughout the “most wonderful time of the year”.

      Well, guess what? Nobody is crying up here in heaven. This place is unreal. There is, literally, too much beauty to take in. Way too much.

      For starters—get this—time doesn’t even exist anymore. Which I’m still getting used to.

      Right now, for all I know, the calendar year down on Earth could be 1728, 4045, 1991, or 12 BC. It really wouldn’t matter up here. This is a realm where there is no ticking clock, no schedule. Up here there is only this present moment. This. Here. Now. That’s all there has ever been. And there is real comfort in this.

      I know this all seems hard to grasp, but if you were here you’d get it.

      Also, for the first time I’m pain free. I feel like a teenager again in my body. You probably don’t realize how long I’ve lived with pain because I never talked about it, I kept my problems to myself because I was your loved one, and you needed me to be brave.

      But pain is a devious thing. It creeps up on even the strongest person, little by little, bit by bit. Until pretty soon, pain becomes a central feature of life.

      Sometimes my pain would get so bad it was all I thought about. No, I’m not saying that my life was miserable—far from it. I loved being on earth. It’s just that simply waking up each morning was getting exhausting.

      But, you know what? Not anymore. In this new place, I am wholly and thoroughly happy.

      But enough about me. I don’t have room to describe all the terrific things I’m experiencing, and you don’t need to hear them. Right now, you’re grieving, and what you need is a hug.

      Which is why I’m writing to you. This is my hug to you. Because you’ve lost sight of me. And in fact, you’ve lost sight of several important things lately.

      Death has a way of blinding us. It reorganizes the way you think, it changes you. You will never be the same after you lose someone. It messes with your inner physiology. It reorganizes you’re neurons.

      But then, there’s one teensy little thing you’re forgetting:

      I’m still around.

      Yes, you read that correctly, I’m right here with you. No, you can’t see me. No, you can’t reach out and hold me. But did you know that one of the things I’m allowed to do as a heavenly being is hang out with you?

      It’s true. I’m never far away. I’m in the room with you now, along with a big cloud of ancestors, saints, and witnesses. I’m shooting the breeze alongside you, watching you live your life, watching you raise your kids, watching your private moments of sorrow.

      Here, in this new realm, I am in the perfect position to help you learn things. Which is what I vow to spend the rest of your earthly life doing, teaching you little lessons, lending you a hand when you least expect it, and desperately trying to make you smile. Actually, I’ve already been doing this stuff, you just don’t realize it.

      What, you don’t believe me?

      Well, wake up, pal. You know that tingle you get in your spine whenever you think of me? That’s me.

      You know how, just yesterday, you had a beautiful memory when you were driving and it made you cry so hard that it actually felt good and you began to laugh through tears? Also me.

      You know how sometimes when you’re all alone, preoccupied with something else, suddenly you get this faint feeling that someone is standing in the room with you? Hello? Me.

      You’re not alone on this earth. You never were. You never will be. So during this holiday season, when cheerful families are getting together and making merry, and taking shots of eggnog, I’m going to be clinging to your shoulder, helping you muddle through somehow.

      I’ll be making your spinal column tingle a lot, and I’ll be sending plenty of signs. Each of these signs—every single one—is code for “I love you.” So start paying attention to these hints.

      Because this was one.

      Thank you for this beautiful post. It’s timeliness and poignancy made me cry.
      ~All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us~







    5. #25
      millot's Avatar
      millot is offline Initiate Wizard

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        •  blazeduneflame
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        •  130
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        •  Wizard City
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        •  Fire
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        •  max
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      Re: Thoughts on "Losing someone ... "

      Quote Originally Posted by AluraMist View Post
      — You Don’t Just Lose Someone Once —
      You lose them over and over,
      sometimes many times a day.
      When the loss, momentarily forgotten,
      creeps up,
      and attacks you from behind.
      Fresh waves of grief as the realization hits home,
      they are gone.
      Again.
      You don’t just lose someone once,
      you lose them every time you open your eyes to a new dawn,
      and as you awaken,
      so does your memory,
      so does the jolting bolt of lightning that rips into your heart,
      they are gone.
      Again.
      Losing someone is a journey,
      not a one-off.
      There is no end to the loss,
      there is only a learned skill on how to stay afloat,
      when it washes over.
      Be kind to those who are sailing this stormy sea,
      they have a journey ahead of them,
      and a daily shock to the system each time they realize,
      they are gone,
      Again.
      You don’t just lose someone once,
      you lose them every day,
      for a lifetime.
      ~ Donna Ashworth Words



      PERFECT

    6. #26
      millot's Avatar
      millot is offline Initiate Wizard

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      Re: Thoughts on "Losing someone ... "

      Quote Originally Posted by AluraMist View Post
      Hi. This is your late loved one speaking. I don’t have long, so listen up because I have a lot I want to tell you.

      First off, I get it.

      Ever since I left this world you have missed me, and I know you’re bracing for the holidays without me. No matter what anyone says, this year’s festivities are going to be really tough.

      In fact, let’s be honest, this festive season will probably stink like pondwater. But then, Thanksgiving and Christmas are tough holidays for a lot of people. You’re not alone.

      See, the misconception about the holidays is that they are one big party. That’s what every song on the radio claims. Each television commercial you see shows happy families clad in gaudy Old Navy sweaters, carving up poultry, smiling their perfect Hollywood teeth at the camera. But that’s not exactly reality.

      In reality, fifty-eight percent of Americans admit to feeling severely depressed and anxious during November and December. In reality many folks will cry throughout the “most wonderful time of the year”.

      Well, guess what? Nobody is crying up here in heaven. This place is unreal. There is, literally, too much beauty to take in. Way too much.

      For starters—get this—time doesn’t even exist anymore. Which I’m still getting used to.

      Right now, for all I know, the calendar year down on Earth could be 1728, 4045, 1991, or 12 BC. It really wouldn’t matter up here. This is a realm where there is no ticking clock, no schedule. Up here there is only this present moment. This. Here. Now. That’s all there has ever been. And there is real comfort in this.

      I know this all seems hard to grasp, but if you were here you’d get it.

      Also, for the first time I’m pain free. I feel like a teenager again in my body. You probably don’t realize how long I’ve lived with pain because I never talked about it, I kept my problems to myself because I was your loved one, and you needed me to be brave.

      But pain is a devious thing. It creeps up on even the strongest person, little by little, bit by bit. Until pretty soon, pain becomes a central feature of life.

      Sometimes my pain would get so bad it was all I thought about. No, I’m not saying that my life was miserable—far from it. I loved being on earth. It’s just that simply waking up each morning was getting exhausting.

      But, you know what? Not anymore. In this new place, I am wholly and thoroughly happy.

      But enough about me. I don’t have room to describe all the terrific things I’m experiencing, and you don’t need to hear them. Right now, you’re grieving, and what you need is a hug.

      Which is why I’m writing to you. This is my hug to you. Because you’ve lost sight of me. And in fact, you’ve lost sight of several important things lately.

      Death has a way of blinding us. It reorganizes the way you think, it changes you. You will never be the same after you lose someone. It messes with your inner physiology. It reorganizes you’re neurons.

      But then, there’s one teensy little thing you’re forgetting:

      I’m still around.

      Yes, you read that correctly, I’m right here with you. No, you can’t see me. No, you can’t reach out and hold me. But did you know that one of the things I’m allowed to do as a heavenly being is hang out with you?

      It’s true. I’m never far away. I’m in the room with you now, along with a big cloud of ancestors, saints, and witnesses. I’m shooting the breeze alongside you, watching you live your life, watching you raise your kids, watching your private moments of sorrow.

      Here, in this new realm, I am in the perfect position to help you learn things. Which is what I vow to spend the rest of your earthly life doing, teaching you little lessons, lending you a hand when you least expect it, and desperately trying to make you smile. Actually, I’ve already been doing this stuff, you just don’t realize it.

      What, you don’t believe me?

      Well, wake up, pal. You know that tingle you get in your spine whenever you think of me? That’s me.

      You know how, just yesterday, you had a beautiful memory when you were driving and it made you cry so hard that it actually felt good and you began to laugh through tears? Also me.

      You know how sometimes when you’re all alone, preoccupied with something else, suddenly you get this faint feeling that someone is standing in the room with you? Hello? Me.

      You’re not alone on this earth. You never were. You never will be. So during this holiday season, when cheerful families are getting together and making merry, and taking shots of eggnog, I’m going to be clinging to your shoulder, helping you muddle through somehow.

      I’ll be making your spinal column tingle a lot, and I’ll be sending plenty of signs. Each of these signs—every single one—is code for “I love you.” So start paying attention to these hints.

      Because this was one.
      IF YOU WROTE THIS FROM YOUR HEART - or if you found it on the net. WELL DONE.
      Last edited by millot; 12-1-21 at 7:09:21 AM.

    7. #27
      AluraMist's Avatar
      AluraMist is offline Wiki Master

      • AluraMist's Wizard Stats
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        •  Celestia
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        •  Ice
      Status: Catching dreams ...
       
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      Re: Thoughts on "Losing someone ... "

      Quote Originally Posted by millot View Post
      IF YOU WROTE THIS FROM YOUR HEART - or if you found it on the net. WELL DONE.
      Thank you. I wish that I could take the credit for this. But it was shared on my social media page by one of my friends. During the past few months, we lost three family members. So thanks to such loving and caring friends, co-workers, and other family members, we are all sharing and trying to support each other. I did cry when I read this letter, but it does help. And I hoped that by sharing it here, it would help someone else too.
      Dare to catch your best dreams and live them with eyes wide open. Sweet dreams always.
      The DreamCatcher.

    8. #28
      Pegasus Unbound's Avatar
      Pegasus Unbound is offline Legendary Wizard
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      Cool Re: Thoughts on "Losing someone ... "

      Quote Originally Posted by AluraMist View Post
      Hi. This is your late loved one speaking. I don’t have long, so listen up because I have a lot I want to tell you.

      First off, I get it.

      Ever since I left this world you have missed me, and I know you’re bracing for the holidays without me. No matter what anyone says, this year’s festivities are going to be really tough.

      In fact, let’s be honest, this festive season will probably stink like pondwater. But then, Thanksgiving and Christmas are tough holidays for a lot of people. You’re not alone.

      See, the misconception about the holidays is that they are one big party. That’s what every song on the radio claims. Each television commercial you see shows happy families clad in gaudy Old Navy sweaters, carving up poultry, smiling their perfect Hollywood teeth at the camera. But that’s not exactly reality.

      In reality, fifty-eight percent of Americans admit to feeling severely depressed and anxious during November and December. In reality many folks will cry throughout the “most wonderful time of the year”.

      Well, guess what? Nobody is crying up here in heaven. This place is unreal. There is, literally, too much beauty to take in. Way too much.

      For starters—get this—time doesn’t even exist anymore. Which I’m still getting used to.

      Right now, for all I know, the calendar year down on Earth could be 1728, 4045, 1991, or 12 BC. It really wouldn’t matter up here. This is a realm where there is no ticking clock, no schedule. Up here there is only this present moment. This. Here. Now. That’s all there has ever been. And there is real comfort in this.

      I know this all seems hard to grasp, but if you were here you’d get it.

      Also, for the first time I’m pain free. I feel like a teenager again in my body. You probably don’t realize how long I’ve lived with pain because I never talked about it, I kept my problems to myself because I was your loved one, and you needed me to be brave.

      But pain is a devious thing. It creeps up on even the strongest person, little by little, bit by bit. Until pretty soon, pain becomes a central feature of life.

      Sometimes my pain would get so bad it was all I thought about. No, I’m not saying that my life was miserable—far from it. I loved being on earth. It’s just that simply waking up each morning was getting exhausting.

      But, you know what? Not anymore. In this new place, I am wholly and thoroughly happy.

      But enough about me. I don’t have room to describe all the terrific things I’m experiencing, and you don’t need to hear them. Right now, you’re grieving, and what you need is a hug.

      Which is why I’m writing to you. This is my hug to you. Because you’ve lost sight of me. And in fact, you’ve lost sight of several important things lately.

      Death has a way of blinding us. It reorganizes the way you think, it changes you. You will never be the same after you lose someone. It messes with your inner physiology. It reorganizes you’re neurons.

      But then, there’s one teensy little thing you’re forgetting:

      I’m still around.

      Yes, you read that correctly, I’m right here with you. No, you can’t see me. No, you can’t reach out and hold me. But did you know that one of the things I’m allowed to do as a heavenly being is hang out with you?

      It’s true. I’m never far away. I’m in the room with you now, along with a big cloud of ancestors, saints, and witnesses. I’m shooting the breeze alongside you, watching you live your life, watching you raise your kids, watching your private moments of sorrow.

      Here, in this new realm, I am in the perfect position to help you learn things. Which is what I vow to spend the rest of your earthly life doing, teaching you little lessons, lending you a hand when you least expect it, and desperately trying to make you smile. Actually, I’ve already been doing this stuff, you just don’t realize it.

      What, you don’t believe me?

      Well, wake up, pal. You know that tingle you get in your spine whenever you think of me? That’s me.

      You know how, just yesterday, you had a beautiful memory when you were driving and it made you cry so hard that it actually felt good and you began to laugh through tears? Also me.

      You know how sometimes when you’re all alone, preoccupied with something else, suddenly you get this faint feeling that someone is standing in the room with you? Hello? Me.

      You’re not alone on this earth. You never were. You never will be. So during this holiday season, when cheerful families are getting together and making merry, and taking shots of eggnog, I’m going to be clinging to your shoulder, helping you muddle through somehow.

      I’ll be making your spinal column tingle a lot, and I’ll be sending plenty of signs. Each of these signs—every single one—is code for “I love you.” So start paying attention to these hints.

      Because this was one.

      I really needed this. I lost my father during the Thanksgiving season in 2000, and my mother in the Holiday Season 4 years prior; This tends to make the Holiday season as a whole a bit on the difficult side.

      Your post touched me exactly the way I needed to snap out of my "quiet" mental state and get back to the present. It gave me much needed strength and it took me a couple days after reading it to cry, remember and vent before I felt stable enough to say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    9. #29
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      Re: Thoughts on "Losing someone ... "

      The holidays after losing you are difficult. I will light a candle when I think of you. I will cry (again). I will always have the memories of past holidays, and I will get through this. I thank God that I know now you are at rest. Forever in my heart ...
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      Dare to catch your best dreams and live them with eyes wide open. Sweet dreams always.
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    10. #30
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      Status: Catching dreams ...
       
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      Re: Thoughts on "Losing someone ... "

      Remembering, and missing, --- Joey, Diane, and Jimmy ---

      "If you know someone who has lost a very important person in their life,
      and you are afraid to mention them, because you may make them sad
      by reminding them that they died --- you are not reminding them.
      They did not forget that they died.
      What you are reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived.
      And that is a great, great gift."
      ~Unknown
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      Dare to catch your best dreams and live them with eyes wide open. Sweet dreams always.
      The DreamCatcher.

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