A Love Poem I Wrote... - Wizard101 Forum and Wizard101 Fansite
   
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  • View Poll Results: How is my Poem?

    Voters
    114. You may not vote on this poll
    • Such A Great Poem! Is it for me?! lol

      29 25.44%
    • Fantastic! Many would adore it!

      54 47.37%
    • Its Ok. I'll post what I think should change!

      5 4.39%
    • Hmm...It has potential!

      15 13.16%
    • This was a Love Poem?! Try Again!

      11 9.65%
    Page 1 of 12 1234511 ... LastLast
    Results 1 to 10 of 113
    1. #1
      Chase ShadowWalker's Avatar
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      A Love Poem I Wrote...

      The Eyes, Oh the Eyes!
      When your beautiful eyes fall upon me,
      Only a feeling of eternal bliss can be grasped!
      Your Eyes, my only source of Life!
      At times, your eyes are my only Meaning for Life.
      Your Eyes, such delicate eyes,
      They create the very feelings that flow within me!
      Without your eyes, why must I live?

      The Voice, such a Voice!
      Upon hearing your voice,
      A trance falls upon me, a divine dream, paradise!
      Your Voice, so majestic,
      Even the Angels of Heaven must cease their Holy Endeavor to hear you!
      Your voice, so full of peace, calmness,
      Hushes the clash of War, Calamity, Strife.
      Lacking Ears to hear, Life would be meaningless.

      Your very Presence, I must be Dreaming!
      When in your presence,
      You frighten away doubt, fear, depression, and amplify joy, confidence, hope!
      Your Presence on Earth itself,
      Cools the flames of below and illuminates the brilliance of above.
      Nothing can compare to you,
      Not the Most Crimson of Roses, nor the most Brimming of Bouquets!
      If I lacked eyes to see you, why must I breathe?

      Now, if my slew of words have left you astray,
      Left you with confusion,
      Or has thieved the very breath and soul from your body,
      I shall bond them into a smooth phrase,
      A phrase in which only a few have had the bliss to hear.
      Ready? Can the soul in your body bare anymore tension?
      Here it is:
      I LOVE YOU!
      Last edited by Chase ShadowWalker; 12-16-09 at 11:44:56 PM.

    2. #2
      Michael DeathFlame's Avatar
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      Re: A Love Poem I Wrote...

      O MY GOSH!!!! tHAT WAS AMAZING!!!!!! I wish I had 10/10, it was AWESOME!!!!!!
      Read The Virus Book 3 The Scroll of Death, the first series to get 100,000 views!

    3. #3
      -Ragnarok-'s Avatar
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      Re: A Love Poem I Wrote...

      kewl its sweet O:
      "2012 Huh? Well..there's always next year." -Me/Carlos/Rest of School

    4. #4
      Austin Legendshade Pyromancer's Avatar
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      Re: A Love Poem I Wrote...

      Woah! That was amazing! AWESOME job!!

    5. #5
      IceHeart's Avatar
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      Re: A Love Poem I Wrote...

      It's really good. =]
      I liked it.

      Check Out My Album And Comment!

    6. #6
      ArchAngel's Avatar
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      Re: A Love Poem I Wrote...

      Great poem! I'm being super-stylistically picky here, so bear with me.

      Don't use "I" so much. You can tweak your language some and come out with a phrase that flows much better. Example:

      Before:
      The Voice, such a Voice!
      Upon hearing your voice,
      I am lulled into a trance, a divine dream, paradise!
      Your Voice is so majestic,
      Even the Angels of Heaven must cease their Holy Endeavor to hear you!
      Your voice, so full of peace, calmness,
      Hushes the clash of War, Calamity, and Strife.
      If I lacked Ears to hear, Life would be meaningless.

      After:
      The Voice, such a Voice!
      Upon hearing your voice,
      A trance falls upon me, a divine dream, paradise!
      Your Voice is so majestic,
      Even the Angels of Heaven must cease their Holy Endeavor to hear you!
      Your voice, so full of peace, calmness,
      Hushes the clash of War, Calamity, and Strife.
      Lacking Ears to hear, Life would be meaningless.

      Like I said, it's purely a style thing, and it's pretty much the only thing I would pick at. Other than that, good job being expressive and descriptive!

    7. #7
      battleforce373girl's Avatar
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      Re: A Love Poem I Wrote...

      WOW! GREAT POEMS! They're just amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    8. #8
      The Espada's Avatar
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      Smile Re: A Love Poem I Wrote...

      wow nice peom chase shadowwalker.

    9. #9
      Chase ShadowWalker's Avatar
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      Re: A Love Poem I Wrote...

      Many thanks to you all!

      I just wonder what she will say when I give it to her...

    10. #10
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      Re: A Love Poem I Wrote...

      Quote Originally Posted by ArchAngel View Post
      Great poem! I'm being super-stylistically picky here, so bear with me.

      Don't use "I" so much. You can tweak your language some and come out with a phrase that flows much better. Example:

      Before:
      The Voice, such a Voice!
      Upon hearing your voice,
      I am lulled into a trance, a divine dream, paradise!
      Your Voice is so majestic,
      Even the Angels of Heaven must cease their Holy Endeavor to hear you!
      Your voice, so full of peace, calmness,
      Hushes the clash of War, Calamity, and Strife.
      If I lacked Ears to hear, Life would be meaningless.

      After:
      The Voice, such a Voice!
      Upon hearing your voice,
      A trance falls upon me, a divine dream, paradise!
      Your Voice is so majestic,
      Even the Angels of Heaven must cease their Holy Endeavor to hear you!
      Your voice, so full of peace, calmness,
      Hushes the clash of War, Calamity, and Strife.
      Lacking Ears to hear, Life would be meaningless.

      Like I said, it's purely a style thing, and it's pretty much the only thing I would pick at. Other than that, good job being expressive and descriptive!
      I sorta agree with you, but he only used 2 I's here Which isnt that bad.
      And plus it's coming from his point of view as if he were infront of a person saying this poem, so i think it's fine as it is. =]

      Check Out My Album And Comment!

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