The Intruder: A Short Story

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This is the first time I've used this blog in like two years... wowza. Anyway, just as a way to spice up my blog a little, I'd like to share a short story I wrote loosely inspired by "The Black Cat" by Edgar Allan Poe that I created for an English assignment.

The Intruder
I may live alone, but I never said I was lonely. In fact, despite living in solitude for so long, I'm still content with my choices in life. Besides, my introverted ways support my solitary lifestyle, making it very easy for me to fend for myself.

After a long day of work, I typically pick up a book and continue where I'd left off whenever I'd read it last, and tonight is no different. And so I read for a good hour or so, indulging in every word on every page, getting pulled in by the pseudo-reality of the novel's world as if it were some sort of black hole of literature.

Crash. Suddenly, a harsh noise rings throughout the house. I jolt up in my seat and place my book on the table beside me. After looking around desperately, I find nothing. Thump. Another loud noise bellows through the building a few seconds later, and this time I vaguely pinpoint the sound. It seems to be coming from downstairs.

As I slowly meander my way down the stairs and through the corridor at the bottom, I hear more clanging noises, as well as the sound that resembled wings flapping. I quickly jolt open the door to my office area, expecting to see some kind of bird flying around the room, knocking over my supplies. However, as soon as I open the door, the noise ceases. I furrow my eyebrows, but leave the door open and head back upstairs to return to the serenity of my book. For the rest of the night, not a single sound was heard.


The next night ended up being another relaxed night, as I occupy myself with leisurely activities as well as more reading after I begin winding down from work. And even better than that, the mysterious noises still seem to have subsided entirely, which confuses me a little, but also somewhat eases my anxious, tired mind.

When I begin to doze off later in the night, I decide to finally retire to my bedroom to assure that I'm well rested for my next day, which I would assume will end up being equally as eventful as the last two days.

I open my closet door to find some clothes to change into, but my entire being is overcome by an intense, burning distress when I spot a young man standing in the middle of the closet. Not only that, but his positioning is awfully close to the door, so he only stands a foot or so away from me when I open the door. I jump back and let out a small yelp as soon as I see him. He, however, doesn't flinch in the slightest. Rather, he stares back at me blankly with his eyes that nearly shine yellow. I deduce that this is unnatural and my eyes must be deceiving me, however, so I end up assuming that he just has light brown eyes, appearing a little odd in the dim lighting.

"Who are you?" I immediately question.

"Me? That's not important," he shrugs, walking out of the closet and taking a seat on one of my chairs. As he does this, I attempt to hide my fear by keeping a calm composure, but at the same time, I'm utterly panicking on the inside. How did this stranger get in my closet?

"Then what were you doing inside of my closet? And how did you get into my house in the first place?" I inquire. He peers up at me and leans forward, resting his chin on his hands.

"Space is just an illusion that you humans put into little categories. You may think that's a closet, but in reality, it's just... space," he argues. I try my best to ignore the fact that he refers to me as a human as though he wasn't himself one, but the thought still ends up burning in the back of my mind. And what exactly was that whole space comment about?

"Look, I don't have time for this right now. Get out of my house or I'll call the police," I threaten him. He peers over at me in response, seeming unimpressed. In fact, his facial expression very much resembles that of a student trapped in a boring, endless lecture.

I hear him vaguely whisper something under his breath angrily, but it's just out of my hearing range; enough so that I couldn't decipher it. I assume it's just a curse word and continue on with my life. Meanwhile, I gesture him to leave, desperate for him to make his exit.

"You abysmal, sad man. I'll leave, but I hope you understand that you've made a vital mistake," the intruder chides. I roll my eyes and look to the side for a moment. When I turn back to see if the young man has left, however, all I find is empty space, as if he'd vanished within seconds. For the remainder of the evening, my insomnia gets a hold of me, constricting me similarly to a person strangling a neck, and I can't stop myself from thinking about the omen that the strange intruder had uttered.

I hope you understand that you've made a vital mistake.


My day of work drags on slowly, and meanwhile, I can't help but think about the intruder stealing all of my belongings while I'm away. I made sure to lock all of my doors, but the thought keeps popping up in my head, even when I try desperately to rid it from my mind.

The night was similar to the previous two, but the strange things began happening much earlier this time around. It seems as though each night takes a bad turn a little earlier each time, in fact. This time, when I walk into my living room from down the hallway, I see a familiar face. He's lounging on a couch, staring at me with those bright, nearly golden eyes. It's almost as though he never blinks.

"Oh, hello. Nice day at work?" the intruder nonchalantly asks me. When I don't respond, he sits there, pondering his next move, as though he's playing an intense game of chess, me being the opponent.

"You know, I still don't know how you got in here, but at this point, it feels kind of hopeless trying to get an answer from you," I reply.

"Simple. I've already given you my answer. Everything around us is just space. There are no real boundaries. You can't accuse me of intruding when all I'm doing is roaming around in a barren vacuum," he responds.

"Mind you, I earned this house. This is by no means unclaimed," I retaliate.

"You humans are so funny. You and your silly property rules and regulations never cease to amuse me," he smirks. I glare back at him, suspicious of his intent.

After a few moments of silence, I cut in and ask, "So, what's the real point of these visits?"

"To survey you and take note of your actions," he ominously replies. I give him a look of concern and confusion. "Yes, I think I've done a sufficient job. I'd best be leaving."

"No, wait--," I begin. But as soon as I blink, he dissipates into thin air.


The following night, the intruder was nowhere to be found. A blessing and a curse, I've been going about very cautiously the whole evening. However, nothing is seeming to happen. My house is as stiff and silent as someone in hiding, attempting to go unnoticed, but very much succeeding in doing so. But perhaps that's just my paranoia from having a strange man apparate into existence and threatening me on multiple occasions.

That Saturday, however, I enter my kitchen to see a bat hanging upside down from one of the cabinets. I slowly walk over to grab a kitchen knife so I wouldn't disturb the bat, sneaking over to it. To my surprise, it doesn't move as I swing the knife at it. It falls limp onto the ground on my first try, in fact, as though it was barely alive in the first place. I then proceed to throw the knife in the sink and go get something to clean up the mess I'd made. But it's for good reason, specifically because of my chiroptophobia.

When I turn my back to the bat with the blood pooling around it, I hear a strangely familiar noise. I spin back around and take note of the blood's change in color. It had altered itself into a vibrant amber, and the bat seems to have disappeared entirely. Is this a dream? And why does that noise sound so familiar?

Swiftly, a figure rises from the glowing liquid. The strange creature holds a vague resemblance to the intruder that had continued pestering me, but this is no human. Rather, it's a towering, bat-like figure with only somewhat human characteristics. I stand there, paralyzed.

"Silly human. That was the final strike. You see, had you not been such a bitter and hostile person, I would've let you live on in peace. But that was where you failed," he snarls.

"What even are you?" I ask, cowering in fear all the while.

"You mean who am I? I am Camazotz, you foolish man. You should be bowing to me or begging for you life. And yet you still stand here, even now, challenging an unstoppable force," he sternly replies.

As I back away, he starts running at me. I sprint down the stairs, nearly collapsing, to exit out the back of my house. I slam the back door behind me, but I know that doesn't matter. In fact, I don't think he's even running anymore. Rather, I hear the same sound of flapping wings, similarly to nails on a chalkboard to my ears, that I'd observed coming from my office only a few days ago.

Meanwhile, I dart forward for the sake of preserving my own life, going headlong into the wooded area behind my house, like a little rodent running from a larger predator. Darting and zigzagging within the large tract of trees, I keep moving forward until I escape the chilling noise of wings rippling through the air. Once I stop, I take a break to catch my breath and then proceed to view my surroundings.

To my left, I see a small, seemingly hidden area by a stream where I decide to lay myself down. Assuming I've lost the demon, I feel myself doze off slowly on the cold ground, attempting to forget the absolutely harrowing visions that crowd my brain.


It's interesting how a simple noise can be representative of something of such a large magnitude. When I awake from my short lived slumber, I try to adjust my eyes to the obscurity of my surroundings. When I peer up, I notice that I'm only a few feet away from a pair of familiar, yet horrifyingly xanthous eyes, glowing in my direction.

"You really thought you could escape me?" the beast snickers.

Within seconds, thousands of little yellow eyes begin glowing all around the woods. My heart, pounding out of my chest, warns me that this is likely the end. And, as if reading my mind, the eyes all begin bringing themselves in my direction at a rapid pace, and I quickly find myself engulfed in a sea of bats, the little creatures suffocating me as I struggle to get away.

************************************************** ***************************

So, I hope you guys liked my spooky little story. I remember having a lot of fun writing it, and I'm pretty proud of it. I may post more of my writing in the future if I'm compelled to or if anyone likes what I've written and wants me to.

Just a side note about the plot points that may confuse people:
Camazotz is a Mayan bat god, encountered in Xibalba, and t
he creature is associated with night, death, and sacrifice. He sort of works on a "three strikes, you're out" sort of deal in this case, and the main character managed to get three strikes, leading to his doom in the end.
Also, chiroptophobia is the fear of bats.

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