Confessions of a Masked Dreamer

Breaking the Silence--'14

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Hello, fellow Centralians,

This is The Lone Ninja Escapist here, or Sarah BattleThief if you know me in-game. As you can tell, this is my first post for my new blog. I've decided to start a blog in the beginning of 2014--it's kind of my new year's resolution but I'm not all that hyped about those anymore.

I would like to take this moment to share the reason for this blog. I have been a long-time Central member and Wizard101 player. At this moment, I am a Grandmaster Poster (3,191) with a Lv. 95 (Promethean) Conjurer who has taken down Warlord Ghost Dog and ready to take on the second half of Khrysalis. I am proud of the accomplishments I've made by far, though there was something concerning me for quite a while.

I find myself lacking in the social part of Central. I may be a poster with a long line of pretty gems but I'm a mystery to new and old Centralians. I've been so cautious about expressing myself lately that some people don't understand my personality and interests. I want to make up the missed opportunities of meeting other Centralians by starting a blog of my own.

For this blog, I'm going take some time out of my adventure in the Spiral to remove the mask of the person I really am, to those who are interested in hearing my tales. This won't be an easy thing to do as I'm very fond of the protection my mask gives me, so I'm only going to take this slow and steady.

The Unknown Truths

The motive for this blog came from pondering about the Central community. I love Central, it's like a second home with many unique people who can share lots of things about themselves to others. For 5 long years, I am still proud that the forums stands as a great place to meet new people. However, I feel like one of oddballs in this community. I have a long line of precious gems underneath my name but I don't have many friends. Compared to my good friends here, they have about 10 times the friends I have. Why? Because they joined guilds and clans, role-played, contacted other members through VMs and PMs, etc. They were more sociable than I am.

So all this time for 5 years, I desisted threads that talk about personal things that I feel is too deep for my taste. In real life, I have a large distrust of everyone; no matter if you were family or friend, I keep to myself every time. So I am shy here in Wizard101 and Central too, and just as insecure as at home.

I also feel like people on Central are uncomfortable with me as well. Sometimes when I attend a party I'd like to joke around and try to start a conversation with somebody, people are just silent around me--whether they were afk or ignoring me--and they go on with whatever they're doing as if I wasn't there. I'm not sure if I'm creepying anyone out because of the things I say or if it's the anonymity that's keeping them from being around me. Either one, I realized how Central people must be perceiving me: I'm probably too weird, too shady, or they just don't like me at all. I want to make a better impression to these people by expressing the things I love and hate in the Spiral or in real life.

I hope as the next posts come, you'd understand why I have these feelings/hobbies/etc. and respect them. Also, if you want to confirm/deny that the things I said in the previous paragraph are true or delusional, I would love to know! And if you have a question, feel free to drop one!

I wish to make new friends this year and to have a more positive book here in the forums! Good night!

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Updated 1-26-14 at 1:06:47 PM by The Lone Ninja Escapist